Post by sɐǝpı ɟo uoıʇɐɹǝpǝɟ on Jul 29, 2017 15:41:50 GMT
New Yorker burning B
www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/im-banksy-and-ill-prove-it
There are a lot of rumors swirling around about the true identity of the mysterious graffiti artist known only as Banksy. But, after years of secrecy, I’m finally ready to come clean. It’s me. I’m Banksy, and I’ll prove it. Don’t believe me? Just read this list of my upcoming projects, and then watch them crop up around the world:
• Dorothea Lange’s “Migrant Mother” photograph, but she’s wearing Snapchat-filter sunglasses.
• A road sign that says “Merge,” only I’ve used spray paint to make it say “Bank (Merge)r” to make a point about banks.
• One sign that says “Democrats” and one sign that says “Republicans,” but I’ve stuck the signs on either side of the actual Grand Canyon (and then sunk at the bottom of the Colorado River is a little paper boat that says “Decency”).
• A stencil of a little boy doing drugs off of a “No Skateboarding” sign, because that’s all that’s left to do now that he’s not allowed to skateboard.
• A piece that’s made to look like one of those cross-stitch samplers that say “Live Laugh Love,” only the last word has its last two letters scratched out and painted over with red spray paint so that it actually says “Live Laugh LoSE.”
• A mural on the side of a fire station, only in the mural, it’s the fire that’s spraying water on the firemen.
• A painting of a miserable little girl in rags, warming her hands over the fire of an exploded Samsung Galaxy Note 7.
• See if there are still any old promotional posters for “Snakes on a Plane” posted anywhere, and if there are, replace the snakes’ faces with cut-up photos of congressmen.
• The real Alexander Hamilton being turned away from the Richard Rodgers Theatre because he can’t afford tickets to “Hamilton.”
• That poster of the sailor kissing the nurse on V-J Day, except that I’ve added a big hashtag in front of it.
• A “Speed Limit 20” sign, and near it is a drawing of a boy standing next to his race car, looking dejected.
• That Horst Faas photograph of the Vietnam soldier who has “war is hell” written on his helmet, except I’ve changed it to say “war is swell.”
• I dunno, the word “apathy” just sprayed on the side of literally anything.
• Figure out a way to string crime-scene tape all around the perimeter of the White House.
• “Nuclear Family,” a Norman Rockwell-esque painting of a mom, dad, and two kids happily sitting down to dinner, but outside of their dining-room window you can see a mushroom cloud.
• Someone filling out a ballot, but instead of candidates’ names, every single option says “Status Quo.”
• A camouflage jacket on a chameleon, because it’s, like, what’s the point?
www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/im-banksy-and-ill-prove-it
There are a lot of rumors swirling around about the true identity of the mysterious graffiti artist known only as Banksy. But, after years of secrecy, I’m finally ready to come clean. It’s me. I’m Banksy, and I’ll prove it. Don’t believe me? Just read this list of my upcoming projects, and then watch them crop up around the world:
• Dorothea Lange’s “Migrant Mother” photograph, but she’s wearing Snapchat-filter sunglasses.
• A road sign that says “Merge,” only I’ve used spray paint to make it say “Bank (Merge)r” to make a point about banks.
• One sign that says “Democrats” and one sign that says “Republicans,” but I’ve stuck the signs on either side of the actual Grand Canyon (and then sunk at the bottom of the Colorado River is a little paper boat that says “Decency”).
• A stencil of a little boy doing drugs off of a “No Skateboarding” sign, because that’s all that’s left to do now that he’s not allowed to skateboard.
• A piece that’s made to look like one of those cross-stitch samplers that say “Live Laugh Love,” only the last word has its last two letters scratched out and painted over with red spray paint so that it actually says “Live Laugh LoSE.”
• A mural on the side of a fire station, only in the mural, it’s the fire that’s spraying water on the firemen.
• A painting of a miserable little girl in rags, warming her hands over the fire of an exploded Samsung Galaxy Note 7.
• See if there are still any old promotional posters for “Snakes on a Plane” posted anywhere, and if there are, replace the snakes’ faces with cut-up photos of congressmen.
• The real Alexander Hamilton being turned away from the Richard Rodgers Theatre because he can’t afford tickets to “Hamilton.”
• That poster of the sailor kissing the nurse on V-J Day, except that I’ve added a big hashtag in front of it.
• A “Speed Limit 20” sign, and near it is a drawing of a boy standing next to his race car, looking dejected.
• That Horst Faas photograph of the Vietnam soldier who has “war is hell” written on his helmet, except I’ve changed it to say “war is swell.”
• I dunno, the word “apathy” just sprayed on the side of literally anything.
• Figure out a way to string crime-scene tape all around the perimeter of the White House.
• “Nuclear Family,” a Norman Rockwell-esque painting of a mom, dad, and two kids happily sitting down to dinner, but outside of their dining-room window you can see a mushroom cloud.
• Someone filling out a ballot, but instead of candidates’ names, every single option says “Status Quo.”
• A camouflage jacket on a chameleon, because it’s, like, what’s the point?